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My niece is getting married in LA. Dec 3 2016. Wedding starts at 5:00pm and goes until midnight. Groomsmen and fathers are wearing tuxs. Color theme is white, black and gold. As a guest, should I wear a long dress or short cocktail dress or is either appropriate?

–Ro, Florida

The wedding etiquette dress code for a five o’clock wedding is on the edge of long or short dress, evening gown or cocktail dress. Look at the invitation, which should arrive at least a month before the wedding, for the dress code.

If you can’t wait that long, try to find the wedding couple’s wedding website by going to such sites as theknot.com. If the couple have decided on the dress code, it might be listed already on their website.

The thing about weddings is that between now and September (when the wedding invitations will be ordered) the dress code could change, which is why we suggest that you chat up the family to find out what guests are wearing. These days, even when the bridal party  is wearing tuxedos and long dresses, the dress codes for the guests may not be as dressy.

If the wedding invitation doesn’t state Black Tie or Formal Attire, as the bride’s aunt you would wear an elegant and dignified cocktail dress that falls to, or just below, your knees, whichever you prefer.

Add beautiful shoes and carry a small chic evening bag. You can’t go wrong with a well-made gorgeous cocktail dress. If the invitation ends up stating Black Tie, you get bump it up a notch with jewelry — even faux pearls.

For instance, for you, I like this embroidered v-nect short sleeve Carolina Herrera cocktail dress because it is elegant and dignified, yet fun.

Or this black floral-lace cuff jacket over a floral-lace sheath dress, which has quite a few lovely details that don’t really show up here:

~Didi