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My question is about using your holiday card as a thank-you note for a wedding present.

Do brides and grooms still have to write thank-you notes for wedding presents they’ve received? Last summer my husband and I attended a beautiful wedding. We dutifully sent an expensive present from the bridal registry in a timely fashion, but we never received a thank-you note. In mid-December we got an elaborate Christmas card from the newly weds with photographs of the bride and groom taken at the wedding. There was a short handwritten notation from the bride on the back of the card that read: Thank-you for your wedding present and being part of our special day.

Is it the etiquette these days to combine your wedding present thank-you note with your Christmas card? She didn’t even mention what the present was.

–NR, Swansea, MA

Thank you for your question about the changing nature of holiday cards.

Uniting a wedding present thank-you note with your Christmas card is a rinky-dink way of showing gratitude. If you hadn’t sent a pre-approved gift from the wedding couple’s bridal registry, I would say the newly weds were ostracizing your wedding present. Meaning they didn’t feel it was commendable. The least she could have done was to mention what your gift was.

You did follow protocol. Let it slide. Next time you see your friend the bride, be cleverer. Thank her for her Christmas card without mentioning the fact that it was consolidated with her thank-you note.

~Didi