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How do I pose for pictures? During the holidays when family members post pics of us, I am always the ugly duckling. To be perfectly honest, I’m an ugly young woman. Because I’m so self-conscious, I always look as though I got caught off guard. When I try ducking out of a photo, I get called back. So it is better to go along with being the ugly relative.

–H.B., Providence

These dos and don’ts for posing for pics can of course be used year round. When possible, suggest that the photos be taken outside, because the natural light is always more flattering. Inside, face a sunny window if you can, but don’t stand under any overhead lighting as it will accentuate those imperfections that make you self-conscious. On the other hand, if you’re the one taking the photo, stand with your back to the light. After three o’clock, but before dusk, the outdoors light is ideal.

Take care with what you wear. If it’s the holidays, a vibrant color will look more cheerful; preferably the same color as your eyes. Your shoulders and hips should be slightly turned in the same direction, and at an angle, whether you’re sitting or standing. Don’t look down or away from the person who is taking the photo.

Whatever you do, don’t appear to look timid by leaning on anyone else or hiding partially behind someone. Be aware of your posture: shoulders should be back, your posture should be straight, and stick in your gut. Forget about saying “Cheese.” Think of someone you love as the camera is clicking.

Makeup, especially around the eyes, always helps to accentuate them. If your face looks shiny in pics the way mine does, use a dusting of transparent face powder to blot out any shine. Lipstick helps to make you look more glamorous. Before you leave for an event like Thanksgiving, look picture perfect; it will give you confidence knowing that you look your best because you’ve prepared.

Style-wise, always wear a clever conversation piece such as dangling earrings, a pretty necklace, well-made eyeglass frames, or a colorful scarf tied around your neck.

When you arrive at the event, immediately go to the restroom to check your makeup and make sure your hair is in place. Smudgy mascara and lipstick on your front teeth shouldn’t be a focal point for whomever you’re talking to. Now you’re good to go. It’s OK to look different.

~Didi