Where does the wedding reply card go in the packet? In the inside envelope or outside the inside envelope that holds the wedding invitation? Please, answer as soon as possible.
–T.G., Oyster Bay, NY
Where does the wedding reply or response card go in the wedding invitation packet? In what order do the pieces appear in the packet?
The largest piece of the packet is the large outside envelope on which the recipient's name and address are handwritten, before the filled medium size envelope is slid into the larger envelope.
This medium size inside envelope protects the most important piece, the wedding invitation, which is covered with an ultra thin layer of tissue paper to keep it fresh.
The reply card and envelope are neatly laid on top of the tissue paper, followed by any separate instruction cards for the church, house of worship, or reception venue that are being included in the packet.
The reply card is not inserted into the reply envelope, but tucked under the back flap of the small reply card envelope with the text facing up toward the viewer. The self-addressed return envelope text is facing the tissue paper.
The recipient removes the inside envelope from the outside envelope to see his title and last name written, but there is no address. When children are also invited, their names are listed here after their parents'.
Children eighteen and older receive their own invitation.
For instance, centered on the envelope in order of age:
Mr. and Dr. Wilson
Master George
Miss Charlotte
Master William
When removing the wedding invitation from the inside envelope the reply card and its envelope appear on top first asking you to consider the invitation and fill out the reply (response) card before mailing it back in the small stamped return envelope. The tissue paper protects the wedding invitation underneath.
I have received a number of RSVPs to my rehearsal dinner invitation, which is being called “The Night Before The Big Day Barbecue,” indicating to me that the guests will be bringing their children, ranging in age from 2 to 14. I am certain I did not include these young people on the invitation or addressed them on the envelope. Don’t the parents understand that each head is counted in the number for which I will be charged, not to mention that the dinner is an adult event where alcohol will be served? Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t get it. How rude is that?! And of course, I wimped out and lied that it was my pleasure to have the little urchins. What would you have done in this case, Didi? I can’t believe that I am sounding like my mother.
–C.H., Dover, MA
Ahead of time you could have found out how many children attending the wedding were from out-of-town. Meaning the parents would have to bring those children to the BBQ, unless you stipulated otherwise. To dispel the idea that children might be brought along, you would have included a line on your invitation such as this:
We are unable to accommodate children due to the 21 age requirement, but are happy to provide babysitters information.
Hosting adults with children is tricky, but in most cases parents will be grateful for a night off. Mothers nursing babies are an exception, and the baby wouldn't be counted in the head count for the BBQ. There is an assumption that children who are part of the bridal party are included in the festivities along with their parents. When there are a lot of children in the wedding, pre and post wedding party invitations need to stipulate age appropriateness.
The problem is this. If the children were included in the wedding invitation to an out-of-town wedding, parents will assume that the pre-wedding and post-wedding events would include their children as well. At this point, it is what it is, but all will be fine. Try to negotiate with the caterer a cost per child. Ask them to prepare hot dogs and ice cream sandwiches for kids estimate the number.
You're right about the alcohol. Children clearly don't belong at parties where alcoholic beverages are being served because it is too easy for a child to pick up a half empty glass and get buzzed. Chances of promoting a possible lifelong addiction should be nipped in the bud.
My fiancé and I are getting married. I’m the bride and she is the bridegroom, she is taking my last name. How are we, two women, announced into the reception?
–C.R., Brooklyn, New York
You and your bridegroom would be announced as, "Ms. Charlotte and Ms. Hillary Ross" (your last name).
