• Home
  • Ask Didi
  • FAQs
  • How Tos
  • Be Your Best
  • Meet The Challenge
  • About Didi
  • “NEWPORT ETIQUETTE”
  • Home
  • Ask Didi
  • FAQs
  • How Tos
  • Be Your Best
  • Meet The Challenge
  • About Didi
  • “NEWPORT ETIQUETTE”
  • Newport Yacht Wedding Mother of the Bride — Dressy Casual Ensemble
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

The Inconsiderate Traveler
OUTDOOR SOCIAL DISTANCING MANNERS — COVID-19 Etiquette
Email Etiquette Update
Newport Yacht Wedding Mother of the Bride — Dressy Casual Ensemble

My question is about finding a mother of the bride dress for a summer wedding shipboard.

My daughter’s being married on a yacht in Newport in August. Needless to say, I won’t be wearing a long dress and high heels onboard. Would you please give me some suggestions. The options in the bridal department stores didn’t seem to fit the bill, so to speak. I need a more sophisticated yet casual look. Like what I’d wear on a yacht in the Mediterranean. Dressy Casual. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.

 

–Loretta, New York City

Thank you for your question about mother of the bride summer dresses. Congratulations and what fun to have a Newport yacht wedding in August. Here are a few of our favorite dressy casual ensembles:

These four photos are curtesy of Maria Pucci at Gramercy Atelier.

     

~Didi

Read More…

  • Newport Flower Show — June 23-25
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

Allergen + Cellphone-Free Thanksgiving
Brain-Picking
Tips for Remembering Names and Faces
Newport Flower Show — June 23-25
 We girls are taking a day trip to the Newport Flower Show and want to be prepared by knowing what to expect ahead of time. Like, how do we dress?

–Julia, Cohasset, MA

 You girls will have a delightful experience at the Newport Flower Show! However, expect to do a lot of walking. Even though there is a free of charge trolly ride of several blocks from Chateau-sur-Mer, where you’ll be parking, to Rosecliff, you will spend a fair bit of time on foot.
  • Wear sensible shoes and I don’t mean flip-flops. 
  • Gladiator sandals, ballerina flats, and espadrilles are fine. 
  • But stiletto heels will sink into the grass and possibly catch the wearer off guard with a tumble.
     Outdoor flower shows are all about the hats. You will definitely need to wear a hat or, at the very least, a pretty visor. 
     One of the first booths you’ll see on the back lawn of Rosecliff that faces the sea is LILO.  Where the renowned milliner Lisa Stubbs sells her fabulous hats.
     For thirty years Lisa’s designs of headpieces, boaters, chapeaus, fascinators (decorative headbands), and visors, have been the status quo of Newport’s summer season. 
 
     Whether you’re searching for the de rigeur hat to flaunt at Ascot or Wimbledon, or to adorn for your daughter’s wedding ceremony, you’ll find it at LILO Hats. 
  • All headpieces are one-of-a-kind. 
  • Lisa’s specialties are her made-to-order original hats for that special occasion, as well as the simpler straw hats we wear everyday in the garden or at the beach.
     After an hour of browsing the many vendors, how about a lovely refreshment overlooking the Atlantic Ocean seated under a luncheon tent. Great for people watching.
     Oh, yes, there are flowers to admire on display or buy, but that’s not what you were asking about.
  • Ahead of time go online to look for the starting times of special events and lectures with a floral motif. No Newport Flower Show is the same.
  • This June 23-25, the French garden theme prevails.
Even though you’ll be wearing a hat, bring sunscreen and reapply, reapply. And don’t forget to take plenty of selfies. More hats you’ll see at the Newport Flower Show.

~Didi

Read More…

  • Casual Friday Dress Code — Business
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

Should You Expect Thanks for A Tip?
How To Be The Good Guest Who Will Be Invited Back
What To Do When You Stiffed on A Holiday Tip
Casual Friday Dress Code — Business

Please, give us the standard on Casual Friday dress code.

Starting off the new year we want to rope in the whole sloppy Casual Friday dress code problem that has morphed year-round. Summer is the culprit. Everyone dresses willy-nilly, loose-goosey with tank tops and shirts untucked, sneakers unlaced, and flip-flops flopping around the cubicles as the mantra. Winter comes and they wear their boots to work and change into their flip-flops or Vans to pad around the office. Next they’ll be flaunting flannel pajama bottoms to work instead of the dreaded cargo pants or knee-torn faded jeans.

–CN, Seattle, WA

Simply post a notice on the company bulletin board and send out an email blast with a list of your Casual Friday dress code regulations. To get my drift, it would look something like this: 9471da29433652e52caa5366767ba1d7

2017 Casual Friday Dress Code

  • Collared shirts (or turtle necks) for men
  • No untucked shirts
  • No bare feet noticeable
  • No bare midriff for women
  • No visible tattoos
images-223eab8bf83cb48e79dab5474556d424ea0a03888adbecdc609df28a6274ca1257
  • No shorts
  • No cargo pants, sweats, or torn jeans
  • No baseball caps
  • No hooded sweatshirts
  • No hair longer than two inches below the earlobe for men
  • No nose, lip, eyebrow or tongue jewelry
  • No biker boots

~Didi

Read More…

  • 21 Body Language Don’ts — Etiquette
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

When to Wear Plaid
Conversation Etiquette
Valentine Etiquette and E-tiquette Every Day – What to Say & Not Say
21 Body Language Don’ts — Etiquette

My question is about the don’ts of body language etiquette on a job interview. Friends are always telling me to watch my body language, but I don’t know what that means.

–JC, Providence

Body language etiquette for business:
  • Don't check for the time.
  • Don't slouch, instead hold your shoulders back.
  • Don't use dramatic gestures with your arms, such as pointing.
  • Don't turn your body away from the interviewer.
  • Don't cross your arms.
  • Don't spread your knees.
  • Don't fake a smile; your facial expression should be in sync with the tone of the conversation.
  • Don't nod your head in agreement with everything that is said.
  • Don't avoid eye contact.
  • Don't try to maintain constant eye contact.
  • Don't roll your eyes.
  • Don't frown or scowl.
  • Don't clench your fists.
images-23
  • Don't glance at your cellphone; turn it off before the interview.
  • Don't fidget, tap, scratch, pick at your nose, ears or nails or fiddle with your hair, clothing or jewelry.
images-20
  • Don't forget to check the odor of your mouth and body before leaving home.
  • Don't invade his or her space; keep at least two feet away at all times.
  • Don't touch or have any body contact between the greeting handshake and the exiting handshake.Don't overstay your welcome, take the cue that the interview is over.
images
  • Don't forget to thank the interviewer for their time.
  • Don't neglect to send a thank-you note adding any pertinent info.
images-22  

~Didi

Read More…

  • Frigid Air Conditioning
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

Trending Informal Wedding Dress Code
New Year's Eve Country Club Wedding – Black Tie Optional
Death of A Sibling
Frigid Air Conditioning

About excessive frigid air conditioning.

At a client’s home the other day outside of Boston, I thought I would freeze to death. She greeted us saying she had turned the central air conditioning way up so we would be comfortable, but we were all dressed for the steamy, muggy July weather. She greeted us wearing a heavy, snuggly sweater.

It didn’t seem polite to ask to borrow a sweater to wear over my short, sleeveless dress, or to have her turn down the air-conditioning, because she seemed terribly proud of her frigid house. The cold was a distraction and halfway through the two-hour meeting, I wanted to leave, but suffered in silence for the sake of her business. What should I have done? Neither of my two male colleagues were wearing jackets, or I would have asked to borrow one.

–Anonymous, Boston, MA

Its cultural. It gave your client a certain amount of power and prestige being able to make you shiver. Despite the huge greenhouse-gas emissions issue, many sophisticated office lease holders require chilling capacity air-conditioners. The more upscale the store, the cooler the chill. Counterintuitively, researchers have found that more mistakes are made and employees are less productive when indoor temperature is 68 degrees to 72 degrees, as opposed to the more comfortable 74 to 76. There is actually an app called Comfy w here owners of air-conditioners can type in that they're too hot or cold or just fine to learn what you like when and tells the air-conditioning system when to boast or hold back the cold. Excessive air-conditioning is such a common problem, there are even fashion blogs that show you how to dress for the extremes of entering a cold office building from the suffocating subway. Layering of course is the way to go and there is no better fashion accessory than the summer jacket, which you can keep in your freezing cubicle for when the temperature drops to 68 degrees in August. Look at these cute work outfits from themuse.com. 14276 14266 14296 14260 14274

~Didi

Read More…

  • Body Odor Conversation Etiquette
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

Worst Holiday Card
How to Talk to My Husband about His Stalker
Mr. Trump’s Body Language — Hand Jives
Body Odor Conversation Etiquette

Is there a conversation etiquette for telling the person in the cubicle next to me that she has bad body odor? My coworker has stinky personal hygiene. A couple of the other women in our set of cubicles and I tried giving her sweet-smelling toiletries but she doesn’t get the hint. In the winter the problem gets worse, because her sweaters, tops and jackets smell really gross. When she takes off her boots to change into her shoes, the ugly scent stinks up our space. How can we tell her with sensitivity?

–Anonymous, Chicago, IL

In private, gently chat up your coworker, saying that she might not be aware but you've noticed that her body has an alienating body odor. It is more than likely that she doesn't realize she smells badly. Then add that you wondered if it was a health issue? Or was she taking a medication that causes it? Perhaps, it's simpler: She needs to try a new dry cleaner. It isn't necessary to bring in other opinions, because it will only embarrass her further and she'll hate you even more. Confide in her that you've found you simply have to shower and put on deodorant every day, as well as fresh clothing. Be happily enthusiastic when telling her you've discovered a really great new spray deodorant (Dove, Weleda, or Aesop) that makes you smell amazingly fresh and actually works. You may see her face drop but you're confiding in her. It might be hard to believe, but many people with bad body odor aren't able to detect the smell emanating from their armpits, feet and/or scalp. Or that the problem can be solved by treating the bacteria that produces the odor. Thyroid disease and carcinoid syndrome can cause excessive sweating, and so can medicines such as antidepressants. Washing the armpits, private parts, and feet daily can reduce the number of bacteria that act upon the them. Some of us have more sweat and oil producing glands than others, and, in fact, it is a fairly common problem. Shaving your armpits reduces the bacterial breeding ground. Washing clothing thoroughly is essential. Never wear yesterday's clothes because they already smell of yesterday's perspiration. Forget about wearing boots without clean socks or tights. Aside from suggesting botox or keyhole surgery to kill the nerves in the armpits, recommending one of the new nonaerosol deodorant sprays is the nicest thing you can do. Even if you have to convince her that Weleda deodorant spray, Dove dry spray antiperspirant, and Aesop deodorant comply with federal regulations. And that the water and alcohol in the spray evaporate instantly leaving only the scented essential oils on the skin. Her odor could be caused be an undiagnosed medical condition or a side effect of a medication. She won't change her hygiene routine until she understands that she has a problem, unless she already knows and doesn't care because she is focused on a far greater worry that could possibly make her depressed. You should definitely share your concerns with a member of the company's Human Resources team in the hope that they will intervene. Prepare yourself for the fact that telling her may irreparably ruin your relationship. But you won't know until you try. I always carry sugarless breath mints in my bag and once before going into a party I offered a friend with bad breath a mint as I was taking one myself, and she's been using them ever since. Confiding in your coworker about your own awareness of your hygiene could make her more sympathetic toward you, as well as help her to help herself. Be honest, all you really want to do is clear the air. For more info on body odor: http://www.newyorktimes.com/thursday-styles-spray-deodorants-rehabiliated 05SKINDEEP1-articleLarge

~Didi

Read More…

  • Every Day Woman's Winter Coat
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

Hat Etiquette for Newport Flower Show
My Daughter-In-Law Is Starving Our Grandson
Five Tips for College Student Emails to Their Professor
Every Day Woman's Winter Coat

I saw the Belstaff coat you recommend, but it is a little too expensive. Although, I really like it. What I need is a basic black coat to wear on the frigid subway to the very stuffy law offices where I work.  A just above the knee coat that I can also wear to nice restaurants and holiday parties.

–chilly milly, Manhattan

Stylish and socially conscious, we love the eco-chic fitted Patagonia Women's Fiona Down Parka. It not only accentuates feminine curves, but is made from 100% recycled water proof polyester and filled with 600-fill Traceable duck down insulation. The feathers are ethically sourced from ducks that were neither force-fed nor live-plucked. This really is the it-coat for a smooth, flattering look for going to work in a snow storm and partying until dawn. Guaranteed to keep you cozy and dry -- as well as environmentally savvy.

~Didi

Read More…

  • Wedding Hats
  • Creative Etiquette Solutions

You may also be interested in:

Tea Etiquette
Tips for Hiring A Nanny
What Is The Etiquette for Naming A Baby
Wedding Hats

My step-grandson is having a 4 o’clock outdoor wedding in October. in middle Alabama at the bride’s grandparent’s home. They are very wealthy and we have never met the bride or her family. I am a young 60 ish 😉 and I have a quirky since of style and like to be different. I am also a hat girl. Would it be appropriate to wear a hat?  Suggestions on what to wear?

–Kristy, Alabama

Hold on to your hat, because you are not going to like my answer. Don't get me wrong, I love hats. But for a wedding such as this you don't want to wear a straw hat with a lot of fake flowers or you'll look like a hick. I'm all for being quirky, but quirkiness has its place and the place is not this wedding. As the step-grandmother you should look elegant and dignified. Wedding etiquette suggests that you dress in the same style as the other "mothers" (grandmothers, mothers, aunts, grandaunts, and godmothers). Find out from your step-son's mother, his step-mother, or the bride the style, length and color palette of the dress code for the other "mothers" in the wedding party. You want to blend into to the wedding photos and not stick out like a misfit. Find out if any of the other "mothers" are wearing hats. Should you decide to wear a hat, make sure that if it has a brim, it is narrow or the hat looks like a cloche that fits close to your head. Often called a 'dinner hat,' it is worn indoors as well as outdoors (I'm presuming there will be a tent for the dinner and dancing). Another alternative is the fascinator, which is a marvelous wide headband with a fascinating decoration, the color would coordinate with your outfit. To illustrate the kinds of dresses that a woman over forty would wear to an upscale wedding, I recommend the website Halsbrook.com. Not only will you find an appropriate dress, but the accessories that work well with it. After browsing the trends, you can look in department stores near you for similar styles.    

~Didi

Read More…

Ask Didi
your étiquette question
Explore
Didi’s collection of responses
discover
How To...
POPULAR TOPICS
  • Codes + Conduct
  • Awkward Situations
  • Entertaining
  • Dilemmas
  • Wedding
  • Relationships
  • Manners
  • Tricky Conversations
  • Sticky Social Situations
  • Family
  • Dress Code
  • Conversation Etiquette
If you can’t explain it to a six-year-old, you don’t understand it yourself. ~Albert Einstein

Our Newsletter

As you've shown an interest in Newport Manners & Etiquette, Didi Lorillard thought you may wish to subscribe. You can easily unsubscribe at any time. Thank you ever so much!

* indicates required



 

  • Home
  • FAQs
  • How Tos
  • Be Your Best
  • Meet The Challenge
  • About Didi
  • “NEWPORT ETIQUETTE”
  • Sitemap
© 2014 All rights reserved. For permission to reprint, contact didi@newportmanners.com site design AtlanticGraphicDesign.com