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My question is about restaurant dining etiquette. At a restaurant, is it considered rude to keep talking in front of the waiter when he brings the food or is it rude to interrupt the conversation?

–Fanny, France

Dear Fanny,  Thank you for your most interesting question about restaurant dining etiquette.  The people dining at the table have placed their orders and the waiter presumably knows who ordered what. In that case, don’t interrupt an interesting conversation, after thanking your server when your plate has been laid down in front of you. If after laying down all the plates your server is still standing by the table, your server probably wants to know if there is anything else that needs to be brought to the table? A condiment, steak knife, another bottle of wine, more bread? In other words, you don’t have to end a good conversation while politely interjecting a request or asking about an ingredient in your order such as an herb or other savory.

      It’s important to always acknowledge those serving you to show that you appreciate their time and it is also important that you don’t ignore a waiter who is trying to be helpful. On the other hand, it’s just as polite to disturb the discussion as little as possible. As the host you might collectively ask your guests, “Does anyone need anything?” Opening up the conversation for the server to bring more wine or bread, for instance.  

Remember that the protocol in France (and in many countries) is that you would never call the server over to your table. You would never directly address the waiter saying,”Garçon,” as you waved the waiter over.

• Garçon is the french word for boy and these days one would never ever address a server using boy.  A waiter is usually an adult.

It is the server’s job to be alert; to sense and solve the concerns of your table. Make eye contact and with a slight nod to your server, they will come to your side so that you can ask for the check or another bottle of wine discreetly–without disrupting the conversation in full swing.

~Didi